I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
