I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
