ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
