You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
