Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
