Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
