They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize