coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
