you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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