cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize