He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
