Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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