So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
