wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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