well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
