shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
