put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize