you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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