It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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