I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
