Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
