Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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