yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
