well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
