I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
