What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
