Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
