Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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