Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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