Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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