Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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