I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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