I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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