It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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