Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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