Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
