Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
