Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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