I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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