So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
