so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
