Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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