He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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