how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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