if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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