If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
