Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
