Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize