i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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