Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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