THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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