dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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