I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
