It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
