Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
