You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
