Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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