Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize