Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This baby is an asshole
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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