Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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