maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
